“What about all those LGBTQ people who think immigration does not have anything to do with them? Here is why it does. The immigration debate gets to the heart of a conversation about who is a "real" citizen, who is part of our communities, and who can be allowed to stay and live here, and who has to do so through a shadow existence, with no basic rights. Sound familiar? It should. It is a historic dialogue that has talked around and through communities of LGBTQ people, people of color, poor people, people with disabilities, and many others.”—SONG Co-Director Caitlin Breedlove (via moyazb)
Why shouldn't a woman be asked to smile? This is a very real question. Does it come off as diminutive? Granted I'd rather make a woman genuinely smile, as opposed to asking for something free. However, I still wonder what this movement is about? "Stop telling women to smile," "I'm no wifey." It's feeling like a serious disconnect between women & men. I think that is the end of the world...women and men stop interacting all together.
Seriously tho. Why *should* she be asked to smile?
Asking a woman to smile is to make her more approachable. It’s to make you feel more comfortable - not her. I, personally, have zero fucks to give about being approachable to strange men on the street. Women are not here to entertain and please random folks. Asking me to smile is akin to asking me to jump. Um. For what? There’s this weird responsibility placed on women to be happy and lady-like and pleasant all of the time. It rids us of being able to express our own range of human emotions.
No one is asking for men and women to not interact with each other. That’s silly. This project is asking for women to be interacted with as if they have agency over their own bodies.
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it.”—
“In other words, the U.S. Congress could disarm the patrols needed to keep slaves in line, eliminating slavery with one bold and quick move overnight. The 2nd Amendment itself was purposefully designed to empower the states to manage and handle their slave patrols, their militias.”—Founding Fathers’ Words Reveal 2nd Amendment Was… To Preserve Slavery?
It’s coming up on a year now since I got my current job as a pizza delivery girl, and I thought this would be a good time to delve into the little ever-expanding “WTFPIZZA” note I keep on my cell that helps me remember some of my more, uh - interesting deliveries.
So without further ado and in no…
The one with the group of middle aged ladies all dressed as McGonagall, though… I’da stayed.
Sigh, because I am a big nerd joke ruiner, I actually know the answer to this. That poem is about Mary Anning, who gained notoriety as one of the world’s first paleontologists. She would collect seashells and fossils on the beaches of her hometown in Dorset and would sell them to tourists. She discovered the first known ichthyosaurus specimen in the Jurassic beds in Dorset. And, of course, she was initially discounted by the greater scientific community because this was all happening in the 1820s and she had a vagina.
I have gotten one question repeatedly from young men. These are guys who liked the book, but they are honestly confused. They ask me why Melinda was so upset about being raped.
The first dozen times I heard this, I was horrified. But I heard it over and over again. I realized that many young men are not being taught the impact that sexual assault has on a woman. They are inundated by sexual imagery in the media, and often come to the (incorrect) conclusion that having sex is not a big deal. This, no doubt, is why the number of sexual assaults is so high.”—
Laurie Halse Anderson, author of Speak, on the question “Have any readers ever asked questions that shocked you?”
Read that again. Read it again, and again, and again. Over and over guys have asked her why Melinda was so upset about being raped. This is a girl who went to a party with friends. She was thirteen. She had a drink, because everyone else was. And a senior held her down and raped her while she was too drunk to get away.
And guys don’t understand why she was upset.
Read that again and then come back and tell me again why I should just shut up and take a joke when a comedian blows off rape as a big deal, or women’s bodies are casually treated as commodities in media. Remind me why I shouldn’t care about the very real harm that society’s treatment of women and sexual assault does.
YES. THIS. And this is exactly why I personally think it’s important to be talking to boys about these things at an early age. I know it’s an unpopular way of speaking my opinion, but when society teaches men one thing their whole lives, and they act off of certain assumptions, it’s no wonder they seem blind-sided when they get themselves in trouble.
We shouldn’t want men to be tricked into fucking up and somehow committing a sexual abuse against us, we should want them to know as early as possible how their actions affect REAL women and the ways those women are subsequently treated by society.
It’s not enough to teach women how to stand up and protect themselves, you NEED to teach boys exactly why that behavior is wrong and how to recognize the ways society is tricking them.
I am so grateful for this book, and the film of it. One night when I couldn’t sleep because I was having night terrors about a month after being raped, I stumbled across the movie while channel-surfing. It might have saved my life. A lot of things saved my life that first year.
Here’s the thing about the quote: this is not unusual. Look at Steubenville. Look at all the stories about rape in the last year, the last five years, the last decade: The concern is for the ruined lives of men who violate women. The blame is constantly shifted to women. Constantly. These boys don’t understand why Melinda is upset because they are constantly taught that they are entitled to women’s bodies and that women who are raped are always in some way at fault. They are not taught that explicit consent and capacity for consent are necessary. This is why they don’t understand. That should horrify all of us.
Some people say that the reason there are so many autistics on tumblr is that it’s somehow trendy or something.
But it’s actually that tumblr is cognitively accessible to some autistic people in ways that no other form of interaction is.
someone told me once (i think it was ray!!) that it’s basically this fantastic combination of echolalia (reblogging) and parallel interaction where you’re not required to interact with anyone but if you have people on your dash it’s like you’re not alone
so yeah, i’d say it can be fantastic
Tumblr is so much drastically easier for me to brains that I have effectively abandoned my original blog.
A New York attorney on Thursday said the murder of a transgender woman wasn’t worth the same punishment as if his client had killed someone “in the higher end of the community.”
“A sentence of 25 years to life is an incredibly long period of time judge,” said John Scarpa, as he asked a judge to go easy on his client, Rasheen Everett, who was convicted last month in the 2010 murder of Amanda Gonzalez-Andujar.
“Shouldn’t that be reserved for people who are guilty of killing certain classes of individuals?” asked Scarpa, according to the New York Post:
This is the logical conclusion of a lack of bodily autonomy for women before and during pregnancy. This is where it leads.
i’d like to highlight the fact that she was away from her home country on a business trip (she’s italian but it was britain’s social services who did this), and she was not told they were going to do that. so basically anyone, anywhere can do this to women.
WHAT THE SHIT
Jesus Christ even the 1st sentence in the article is awful: "Exclusive: Essex social services have obtained a court order against a woman that allowed her to be forcibly sedated and for her child to be taken from her womb by caesarean section." Like how much more passive could that wording sound? “Allowed her to be forcibly sedated”? How about “they forcibly sedated her, performed non-consented surgery, and stole her child”?!?!?! Jesus fuck.
“Being a sex worker means being constantly afraid of being judged when you answer the age-old question, “What do you do?” If I stick to my own it means I don’t get those judgments.
When other sex workers ask what I do and I reply honestly, they say, “cool,” tell me what they do, we exchange a few minutes of shop talk, and we move on to normal getting-to-know-you stuff. Most of the time, when I tell civilians what I do, one of three things happens, and none of those things are good.”—Harlotry: Why I’m Only Friends With Sex Workers
Why having civilian friends as a sex worker can be a real pain in the ass—on stigma, alienation, and being someone’s “dominatrix friend.”
Wow, this hit home. The writer goes into detail about why their friend group is pretty much only made up of current or former sex workers (largely because civilians struggle to see them as full people, and get hung up on the work thing one way or another), and then talks about how because they are an indoor worker who is primarily surrounded by indoor-working friends who are generally already politically active and aware of the issues at hand, they aren’t actually doing much in terms of outreach or education on sex worker issues.
I feel this article so much. Sometimes, when I’m contributing here to SWP or elsewhere, I feel like…I’m preaching to my own choir. It can feel like I have nothing to say that hasn’t already been said, and like…I don’t know. I mean, how many times can we have the same conversation about trafficking? We all know. Many of us read the same articles and loosely move within the same circles, especially in the politically loud-mouthed SW community online.
This article is a good reminder to do some self-care, and then be ready to have hard, annoying, uncomfortable conversations with civilians. To be out when it is safe. To reach out to people outside the bubble, and bring them in.
While sure, intent isn’t magical, and of course, no one is obligated to cater to a privileged group that dehumanizes them (seriously, and if someone is an asshole, tell them to fuck off bc fuck that), understanding that there are plenty of well-meaning people who are being informed by their ignorance on the subject of sex work. We can change that.
The most powerful activism is the kind that we do in our personal lives, by being who we are and using our fabulous brains and our lived experiences to share with others. Taking ourselves out of the bubble is good, even when it’s hard.
I am often grilled or ridiculed for my lifelong inability to manage money, and occasionally asked outright why or how I could choose to spend over a decade racking up tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt by traveling the world. This line of questioning is an immediate tell that the person interrogating me has never been poor, because when you’re poor for your whole life, your “immediate benefit vs. long-term cost” meter gets broken. I wanted to have those experiences before I died, and there was no other way for me to get them: that’s it, that’s the only reason why. It was either maxing out yet another Visa card or shuffling off this mortal coil having never set foot in my beloved heart-home of Birmingham (UK), and I chose the former. And I am so happy that I did. I feel so lucky every day. I don’t care how long it takes me to pay it all off or how much more I end up spending than I would have if I would have just worked for decades to save up — I did not want to die without those experiences, being poor means feeling like you have no future so I grew up thinking I might die at any moment, but now those experiences cannot be taken from me no matter how much debt I have. Mission fucking accomplished
Besides, what was I supposed to do, open a savings account? Jesus, I was making $6.50 an hour. And what the fuck was I supposed to save for, a fucking college education? Man, you might as well have told me to start saving for my next trip to Mars. Poor people don’t go to college, we don’t know how to do that shit! It really feels like scholarships and financial aid are for well-connected, motivated, and intelligent poors with stronger bootstraps or better families than the rest of us. Because the rest of us were born and raised to internalize exactly one piece of knowledge: you must do whatever you need to do to be able to eat and keep a roof over your head. Everything else is for rich people. If we are lucky, we will be able to grind away at entry-level jobs until we keel over and kick the bucket and if we are not, we will starve and die on the street.
While I do know EXACTLY how much money I have available to me at all times, tangible and intangible, every second of every day, money has never felt numerable or even finite to me. It just feels like access. The balance in my checking account is nothing more than an indirect display of how much power and influence I will ever be able to have on the world. I’ve been out of the projects for over a decade now but the relentless grind of poverty, only getting to live like a normal person in those brief moments when other folks felt like being charitable? That still informs my every waking thought.
I watch how my wealthy friends navigate in the world and it is just so fucking foreign to me — they can literally afford to make their lives easier. It runs the gamut from being able to hire people to assist them with basic tasks and purchasing items whose sole purpose is to minimize stress and hassle to being able to spend lavishly on high-quality personal accoutrements that last for years and indicate to the world at large that you are monied enough to be thoughtful and patient with your purchasing decisions. This stands in stark opposition to poor folks who have to shell out for the very first barely-affordable apartment/car/jacket/pair of shoes that comes along without having the luxury of worrying about whether it’s going to completely fall apart on you a few months or even weeks later.
One of the many tiny wisdoms that have occurred to me as I’ve gotten older is that money greases the very gears of life. When I was a kid, I used to think that the way you could tell a poor person and a rich person apart is that the rich person would have more and better stuff. As an adult, I know that the way you can tell poor and rich folks apart is that the rich folks are just less worried about everything. They are so secure in their belief that they will wake up each day housed, clothed, and fed that it doesn’t even register on their radar screen. It creates this impenetrable, invisible insouciance that is at once overwhelmingly enviable and goddamned infuriating. I honestly can’t imagine what that must feel like.
So I found out that this was the last condom I used before I got a yeast infection. From a Google search, Durex proudly declares that “has NO awful latex smell” and has “Sensual Berry Scent and Taste.”
You CANNOT use flavored condoms for intercourse. They do NOT go in vaginas. Many aren’t tested to the same level of quality, because they aren’t marketed for intercourse - only for oral sex. I’m extremely disappointed that Durex did market a flavored condom for intercourse. Flavors and fragrances do NOT go in vaginas. They cause yeast infections. I’m just so fucking angry right now. I loved Durex, but not now. Their fucking irresponsibility just tore up my vagina.
The FDA needs to require warning labels for all condoms with flavors or spermicide. Can I start a petition for this? Like, as big and clear and obnoxious as the ones on cigarette packs. And not just on the box, on the individual condoms because, if you’re like me, you take condom hand-outs from clinics, college, etc. WARNING: CONDOMS USING FRAGRANCE, FLAVORS, AND/OR SPERMICIDE CAUSE YEAST INFECTIONS. It may smell nice, but your pussy will BURN.
Sorry, I’m just so fucking angry right now.
important things to remember if you or your partner(s) have a vagina and are using condoms!
Bad Durex! It should be common knowledge flavored condoms are not to be meant for anything other than oral sex but it’s not.