"Once you have a genuine sense of concern for others, there’s no room for cheating, bullying or exploitation."
— @dalailama (via aspergersissues)
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While we’re celebrating César Chávez it is incredibly important to note that, 24 years after his impassioned speech asking “Why do we allow farmworkers to carry the burden of pesticides on their shoulders?”, migrant farm workers still do not have adequate protections from harmful pesticides.
Chavez saw the horrible health problems pesticides caused among migrant farmers, such as miscarriages and birth defects following pesticide exposure to pregnant laborers, and the pollution and damage these poisons caused to the environment. Yet, decades later, there still are not adequate protections from pesticides for the millions of migrant and seasonal laborers who feed our nation.
There is a serious lack of respect for those who maintain our food supply. Agriculture work has repeatedly shown to be one of the most hazardous occupations in the US. The average life expectancy for a migrant/seasonal farmworker is 49 years, as opposed to the national average of 75. The majority of these migrant farmworkers are foreign born Latin@s, and because of this, they are often denied healthcare and must deal with illnesses with their paltry wages (nearly 1/7th the national average). In fact, studies show that employers often take advantage of these migrant and seasonal farmworkers by not enforcing basic labor standards. To make matters worse, county agricultural commissioners in my own state of California often fail to issue fines for employer negligence.
Even where they are recognized, the Environmental Protection Agency’s Worker Protection Standards are often not communicated or offered to migrant and seasonal farm workers in the language in which they are fluent, a blatant example of white English-language supremacy and internal colonialism. Recently, the EPA banned the sale of the pesticide azinphos-methyl, but they still allow it to be used where it has already been purchased.Meanwhile, health issues and birth defects are rampant due to pesticide exposure nation-wide. Of our approximately four million migrant farmworkers, tens of thousands per year are poisoned on the job.
In our honoring of the life and achievements of César Chávez, we should also honor his many important messages, just one of which is our need, as a nation, to acknowledge, to appreciate, and to address the plight of those millions of documented and undocumented farm workers who put our food on our tables at great risk to the health and safety of themselves and their own families. We cannot ignore or tolerate the racism, neo-colonialism, and capitalist apologetics inherent in the blatant disregard of most Americans for the Latin@s, Chican@s, Filipin@s, and others who support our economy and feed our populace.
(Source: joshisonlinesometimes, via sexgenderbody)
"To be blunt, men who rape women do so for the same reason that boys who torture cats do so: Because they’ve been raised to believe that dominating others makes you a big, tough man, and they take pleasure in exerting power over this being they’ve been taught is beneath them. Most boys don’t torture animals, but we aren’t confused about those who do. Even if they do find some kind of visceral satisfaction from it, we don’t think they’re confused and simply think they’re, say, preparing a meal. When boys torture animals in groups, we know that there was probably a ringleader who used pressure to “be a man” to get the other boys to go along with it. We also know some boys torture animals in secret, taking pleasure in the conquest of these animals. If you understand why boys torture animals, you understand why teenage boys and men rape. The same codes of masculinity and sadism are underlying the behavior, and I’m guessing the overlap between the two behaviors is really high, with a lot of youthful animal torturers growing up to become sexual predators who get a thrill out of conquering women, especially considering how much more cunning you need to dominate and control a woman than an animal."
—
If Only We Could Talk About Abusing Women Like We Do Abusing Cats | The Raw Story
Bam.
OF COURSE bad sex isn’t rape. Duh to the ten millionth fucking power.
But sex without consent is. Sex with underage people when you’re an adult is. Sex with someone who can’t consent is. Sex when someone has said “no” and you keep on going is. Really. Whether we want to call it that or not. Whether we like the person and want to make excuses to keep having sex with them at times they don’t disregard our consent.
Just because someone doesn’t resonate with the label for their abuse doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. FFS, people.
I’ve about fucking had it with this story. Nowhere in her overly simplistic screed is anything saying sexual agency doesn’t mix well with predation. Read a certain way, the whole article could be taken as a Lolita type argument for pedophilia.
- As a former teenager who slept with grown ass men, this is very personal for me. Back then, I defended my right to sexual self agency to the teeth. Nowadays, I tend to think maybe those grown ass men shouldn’t have been sleeping with a 14 year old.
- Most of my formative sexual experiences were technically statutory or date rape. Did I think of them that way? No. Not even close. Not until years and years later, because y’know, definitions.
Nor were all of them “bad sex”. Some of the sex was even kind of great. But even the bad sex, no I didn’t think of it as rape. I thought of myself as stupid and worthless.
- I also didn’t think of the bruises my parents left on my body as child abuse. That was normal punishment because I was a bad kid.
Wonderful. [tw: rape]
So I recently began frequenting Fetlife a little bit more. One of the first messages I’ve received since my return was by a man who, upon seeing that I’m a member of a group dedicated to rape survivors, decided to ask:
“…I also see youre in a ‘survivor’s” group. Were you ever fucked or forced to do anything sexually in real life when you were younger by an older man? Or is that just for awareness?”
Of course his tactless question made me bristle. I have NEVER talked to him before in my life. Who the fuck does he think he is asking a question like that?
Not wanting to overreact in the event he REALLY didn’t know that that’s an insensitive question, and as always wanting to avoid being mean, I responded by simply stating that yes, I am a survivor of rape and that, for future reference, simply asking “Are you a survivor or a supporter?” would be preferable and less abrasive.
His response? (Copied and pasted, people.)
“Well I’m sorry if i tried to be a lil more sensitive. I can leave you alone if that was a problem. Im looking to get off..not fight or be “schooled” by you. Ive been meeting girls your age offline in real life meets for over 10 years. Im pretty sure i know what Im doing”
Oh really? I really wouldn’t have been able to tell by how tactless and inappropriate your opening message was..I feel bad for ANY girl that this man has met with. It’s hard to imagine someone so out of touch and insensitive being a very good Dom, or sexual partner in general.
Not sure what the point of this ranting is, except to maybe remind people to THINK BEFORE THEY SPEAK. What if that HAD been what had happened to me? What if I wasn’t in as good (if you can call it that) a place in terms of putting it behind me as I am, and even the mention of abuse set me off?
I WAS just going to rant here and then ignore this asshat, but the more I think about it, I don’t want to set them free to potentially trigger someone else or make light of what happened to them.
Ughhhhhhh.
(I also feel the need to mention how piggish it is for him to be “looking to get off” when I’m CLEARLY listed as being in a relationship and my profile CLEARLY specifies I’m looking for friends, not hookups.)
"At its root, abuse is the harmful exercise of power over others. Submission theology protects the privileges of the powerful; as a result, abuse survivors in submission cultures are not able to fight effectively for support or accountability. It is possible that victim advocacy is inherently impossible in a culture like SGM’s."
— Evangelical church accused of ignoring sexual abuse, “pedophilia ring” - Salon.com
This is actually an outstanding dissection of abuse, patriarchy, and gender.
i don’t support the NCSF.
Seems like blasphemy, right? Being a BDSMer but not supporting the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom. There are places where actions that take place in a scene would still be considered illegal, which is something the NCSF fights against.
Except.
i follow Consent Culture, Yes Means Yes, and now maymay over at May Be Maimed but Never Harmed. And all bring up a rather valid point, in connection to the shutting up of rape survivors on Fetlife. Which continues to do so, saying that only convictions count, a fact supported by the NCSF. Boiling things down to its bluntest, the NCSF is a PR account, that puts a positive spin on all aspects of BDSM and, naturally, tries to quiet down any reports of abuse or other negative aspects of the community in order to legitimize BDSM itself. It is that sort of thinking about why it took a long time for an all inclusive ENDA to be put forth; sacrifice a few things now (in this case, the valid feelings of survivors and power abuses by leaders) to get some form of legality now.
It is because of this, and the inability to see that true legitimization comes from enforcing things that are just plain wrong, such as rape and taking advantage, that i can’t support that organization.
i don’t really support Fetlife either (point of fact, they used to support bestiality and pedophilia groups in the past, before needing to process credit cards; even then, groups such as Bestial Encounters still exist), but currently it is the only game in town for kink and socializing (especially since i am one of those backwards types that refuses to get a facebook account).
Reading all this, would you support the NCSF or Fetlife?
Well, color me disgusted. Why, you ask? Well, only because she’s a mouthpiece for the False Accusations set in the “kink community”. Well played, Fetlife, well played. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse. You can have your jizz in your pants, I think I just vomited in my mouth.
…if we continue to track spam reports this way, assuming that the publication of this post doesn’t change griefers’ future behaviors, we will eventually see the pattern described above repeat. That is, we’ll see the friends of an alleged abuser start to spam FAADE by reporting themselves with griefer reports. If this hypothesis can be proven, it may provide a far more reliable red flag for identifying social groups where consent violations are likely to be covered up rather than addressed constructively.
Those social groups are, to put it politely, not places where I would want to spend much time….
(Source: thecautiouskinkster)
Best comment: Find your own tactics in this list of emotionally manipulative behaviors.
8 ways to spot Emotional Manipulation
1. There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional manipulator. You make a statement and it will be turned around. Example: I am really angry that you forgot my birthday. Response - “It makes me feel sad that you would think I would forget your birthday,I should have told you of the great personal stress I am facing at the moment - but you see I didn’t want to trouble you. You are right I should have put all this pain (don’t be surprised to see real tears at this point) aside and focused on your birthday. Sorry.” Even as you are hearing the words you get the creeped out sensation that they really do NOT mean they are sorry at all - but since they’ve said the words you’re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that or you suddenly find yourself babysitting their angst!! Under all circumstances if you feel this angle is being played - don’t capitulate! Do not care take - do not accept an apology that feels like bullshit. If it feels like bullshit - it probably is. Rule number one - if dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST your senses. Once an emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver - it’s added to their hit list and you’ll be fed a steady diet of this shit.
(Source: angelinaherrera)
50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada
Use, redistribute, print.
Click image and magnify for large version.
Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticized fiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.
so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex
it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine
i know my shit okay
im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid
Let me
just
fucking
drop
some fucking
knowledge on you right now.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.
^I’m just going to stand up for this and clap
I feel the need to add that a ‘50 Shades is evil, the BDSM scene is good’ opposition unfortunately doesn’t hold true. There is nothing wrong with enjoying BDSM, nothing. But there are currently BDSM scenes that rarely live up to the mantra of safe, sane and consensual, engage in very problematic behavior and enable and protect abusers (the folks who run Fetlife for example), but even they aren’t messed up enough to not see how fucked up Fifty Shades of Grey is.
"But so often, “creating drama” is a phrase that people use when they want someone who has been a victim of something to shut up. It allows them to blame the victim for bringing the problem to their attention and making them feel bad while glossing over the fact that the drama was really created by the victimizER back when they did bad things. The friend group gets all caught up in issues of “fairness” and “logic” and “It was so long ago, why are you dredging it all up now?” and treating the victim’s feelings (or, again, quite rational & reasonable request to not have to sit next to one’s rapist at dinner) as illogical and unreasonable.
Someone who accuses you of “creating drama” in this case is basically saying that abusing & raping one’s partner might be bad, but making people feel weird about it at parties is worse."
Someone who accuses you of “creating drama” in this case is basically saying that abusing & raping one’s partner might be bad, but making people feel weird about it at parties is worse."
— #393: My friends keep inviting my abusive ex and me to the same parties, despite being asked directly not to. (via slutwalkseattle)
(via moremaggiemayhem)
"Legislation was first submitted three years ago in response to rising concerns about the methods some teachers were using to restrain students who were misbehaving or out of control. Thousands of children have been injured and dozens killed in recent years after being restrained, an ABC News investigation has found."
— Which Congressman Is Blocking Bill That Would Protect Kids with Autism? - ABC News
