aspergersissues:

This goes for many, many things that have happened in my life due to my autism. I’m often left afraid to say no, then scolding when I admit how uncomfortable I am with whatever it was.

aspergersissues:

This goes for many, many things that have happened in my life due to my autism. I’m often left afraid to say no, then scolding when I admit how uncomfortable I am with whatever it was.

(Source: saucyboozehound)

Tags: consent

"There have always been assholes that look at a safe space as simply a possibility for exploitation. Consent has never been fully respected by society, nor by its technology. That is no reason to continue to ignore it. Consent is a person’s ability to control their own body, including its image, now and into the future. The fact that we might never have had full control over our body is not a reason to deny its existence. That exploitation is a historical fact does not make it a future given. Regardless of what technology exists and on what spot on the earth you happen to be standing in, you can either choose to respect consent, or you can choose to violate it."

Glassholes and Black Rock City — Weird Future — Medium

"Bodily autonomy isn’t only about sex. My youngest brother has a lot of allergies. No, a lot of allergies. They’ve gotten a little better with age and medication, but time was, even smelling milk or eggs or walnuts or cherries or any of a dozen other things would land him in intensive care. I’d come home from school and oops, there’d be a note on the table saying my family was at the hospital again. People didn’t understand that. Still don’t. “Milk allergy? Oh, you must mean lactose intolerance. There are pills for that now, here, have a cupcake — “ and then it’s another emergency shot of epinephrine to the leg. So I don’t have much tolerance for people who say, “Here, put this in your mouth. I know better than you what goes in it.”"

Drinkups Are Rape Culture — Medium (via mslorelei)

(via mslorelei)

Heh. Perfect I should find this while watching this never ending thread on privilege and consent continue to go sideways.

Heh. Perfect I should find this while watching this never ending thread on privilege and consent continue to go sideways.

(Source: catleecious, via catgif)

maidenmacabre:

my-kittens-daddy:

fuck1ng-pixie:

2beeadorable:

fuck1ng-pixie:

AND THIS THE GOD DAMN EXACT REASON I NEVER WANTED TO MAKE A FETLIFE.

HERE IT IS EVERYONE.

THIS MAN IS 37 YEARS OLD AND STILL DOESN’T UNDERSTAND CONSENT.

FUCK

THAT

flood his inbox with hate

Don’t do that.

fuck that…sick the Legion on his ass….

THIS.

(Source: , via sexgenderbody)

mslorelei:

What’s the difference between BDSM and abuse? Infographic.
rohosub:

For all of those who still doesn’t know! Read up!

mslorelei:

What’s the difference between BDSM and abuse? Infographic.

rohosub:

For all of those who still doesn’t know! Read up!

maniacalmezzo:

Today’s lesson in respect and consent is brought to you by Taco Bell.
HOT: I’m up for it if you are.VERDE: Will you marry me?MILD: Why say no when you can say yes?FIRE: If you never do, you’ll never know.

maniacalmezzo:

Today’s lesson in respect and consent is brought to you by Taco Bell.

HOT: I’m up for it if you are.
VERDE: Will you marry me?
MILD: Why say no when you can say yes?
FIRE: If you never do, you’ll never know.

Tags: consent

Rape is Only a Good Time if You’re a Rapist

plannedparenthood:

If you’re like most of the Internet, you were excited (and a little confused) when Playboy, a mainstream publication sporting a less-than-stellar record with feminists and critics of porn and rape culture, announced yesterday that some of their past attitudes were, indeed, harmful to women. To right these historical wrongs, they would shift the focus of their annual party schools list from bikinis and binge drinking to the importance of sexual consent.

image

Except…not quite. It turns out a group called FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture, along with college students and other activists, are behind the fake Playboy websites that promoted consent, body acceptance, sexual diversity, and other awesome things not typically seen in the party guides of yore.  But the reason so many people initially bought it - including us (oopsies!) -  isn’t because we’re all overly-optimistic, naive dumdums. It’s because framing consent as a way to make parties more fun and sex hotter ACTUALLY MAKES COMPLETE AND TOTAL SENSE.

All too often, discussions of rape are hijacked by the bogus claim that getting genuine consent is confusing and difficult, that it ruins the mood, spontaneity, and pleasure of sex. But in reality, it’s actually really easy to not rape someone. The genus of the Playboy hack (and also what made it so believable) is that the activists managed to harness everything the Playboy brand claims they represent - sexual liberation, sex positivity, and pleasure - while seamlessly proving that none of it is possible without consent.  

And it’s true! Consent isn’t about killing the mood, it’s about making sex BETTER.  When you communicate with your partner(s), sex is BETTER. When people pay attention to and acknowledge each other’s verbal and non-verbal signals, sex is BETTER. When partners cooperate with condom/birth control use to protect against STDs and/or unwanted pregnancy, sex is BETTER. When nobody is being pressured or coerced, sex is BETTER. When everyone is consciously, genuinely, enthusiastically into what’s happening, sex is BETTER. When people treat their sexual partners like autonomous human beings who deserve respect and kindness, SEX IS BETTER.

Fake Hugh Hefner breaks it down real basic-like: “Consensual sex is simply sex that is pleasurable for everyone involved. The anti-rape and consent movement bubbling up in America is important and I support it. It’s good for women. It’s good for men. It’s good for sex.” Bravo, Fake Hugh Hefner. Bravo.

Maybe someday, this is what magazines will REALLY be saying. In the meantime, we doff our party hats to the visionaries who not only demonstrated that consensual sex = good sex, but proved that people actually want to hear more positive messages about consent from the media. This is what engaging yet socially responsible journalism about sex truly looks like - hopefully it won’t have to be faked for long.  

image

Tags: sex consent

"Writer Laurie Halse Anderson published an influential book in 1999 called Speak, about a high school rape and its effects on a victim. Since then, she has spoken at high schools and middle schools around the U.S., and estimates she has talked to a million kids about rape. “What really strikes me is that, when it comes to recording sexual assaults and wanting to show it off, the young men committing them are not seeing them as crimes, they see them as pranks. And there’s no point in pulling a prank unless you share it.” Anderson said parents and educators need to talk to younger boys about informed consent. “When I speak to students, I tell boys that if a young woman isn’t of age, she isn’t capable of giving informed consent, and if she’s drunk or high, there’s no informed consent. And those cases, if you have sex, you can go to jail. And the jaws drop, because right away, they think of the sex they had at a party last weekend, where everybody was wasted.”"

Sexting, Shame and Suicide | Culture News | Rolling Stone (via mslorelei)

(via mslorelei)

thisisrapeculture:

This may be one of the first ads I’ve seen that doesn’t merely enforce “no means no,” which can be problematic when not coupled with the idea of enthusiastic consent because it tacitly implies that people are in a constant state of consent unless otherwise specified. 

thisisrapeculture:

This may be one of the first ads I’ve seen that doesn’t merely enforce “no means no,” which can be problematic when not coupled with the idea of enthusiastic consent because it tacitly implies that people are in a constant state of consent unless otherwise specified. 

(Source: webelieveyou, via notyrqueer)

Coercive rape

righteousfemalerage:

fuckingrapeculture:

There seems to be little information out there on coercive rape, and that is troubling because it is extremely prevalent. What is even more troubling is the lack of recognition coercion gets because it doesn’t fit an idealized rape script, and is often dismissed as merely “bad sex”, which it’s not. 

In order to understand it, lets define rape first. 

Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse, which is initiated by one or more persons against another person without that person’s consent.

Consent is not just about saying yes, or a lack of a clear no. Consent only counts if it is enthusiastic, given by someone who is able to consent (sober) and was not obtained by coercion. Consent can also always be revoked. 

This means that if your partner has not created a safe environment for you to say no, the consent was not given freely. 

Coercion is simply anything a person does to make it harder for their partner to say no. 

Some of the examples are :

Guilting (saying you owe them sex because they did something, such as pay for dinner)

Threatening body language

Nagging - Continually asking for sex after you have already said no

Verbally threatening

Manipulation 

Blackmail

The list goes on. 

Reblogging this because I didn’t know. I didn’t know and maybe if I did, things wouldn’t have gotten so bad.

(via idlnmclean)

"A friend of mine was recently cornered in her building doorway, late at night, by a total stranger who “just wanted to take her out for a drink”. She said “No” several times, in increasing alarm, and finally he grabbed her arm and asked “Why not?”. She said, “Because you’re obviously not listening when I say no right now, so I can’t expect you to listen to anything else I say no to.”

To her total shock, he looked appalled, let go of her, apologized, and left. As far as she could tell, it had not occurred to him that cornering a stranger, grabbing her arm, and insisting she go get a drink with him might be seen as the sort of thing a rapist would do."

— from the comments @ #481: My parents acquired a friend for me (with a gross, moldy congealed side of stalking). | CaptainAwkward.com (via notemily)

(via nixie-no-pants)

Ugh. I need a psychic shower. Just talked to some fifty year old guy who mid conversation admitted to molesting women while they were too fucked up to know. He thought it was cool.

I need the fucking rent money too much to call him on it and/or tell him what a piece of shit human being I think he is so I let the call continue, which earns me the first solid chunk of money I’ve gotten all day.

That, right there, is the only thing that ever makes me feel like a whore at odds with myself - is doing anything, ever, soley because I need the money. But, you know, socialism would be wrong. And work is good for you; instills character and all that rot.

/dripping sarcasm

/rage

command fail: rage not ended

idlnmclean:

teratocybernetics:

dyslexicoedr:

missmonstermel:

dyemooch:

oohmanada:

Reposted from Pixie Belle
Just thought I’d give a heads up to everyone at the con this year: If you got a photo with Image Solutions please read this: So since I wanted to talk about this. Apparently if you have ever taken photos with a photographer in image solutions…well…you’re a body pillow now. I found this horrible thing in the dealers room. Apparently it’s legal because it’s a “promotional item”. Since when did promotions gets charged? All I can say is I wasn’t told these were going to be made when I SPECIFICALLY talked to him last year what he was going to do with the photos and I do not approve of it at all. He was selling these in the dealers room of the convention he took them at last year thinking the cosplayers would be okay with it. Obviously this man is beyond stupid. He had small pillows and larger ones too. When me, and two friends confronted him he had the AUDACITY to tell me that I was a popular seller, as if that would make me feel more comfortable about this. There were many others who had pillows made and every other person I talked to was disgusted with this.
Here’s the Article
Here’s his deviantart.
And here’s his “Professional” page.
Be careful of his unsavory business tactics, and if you find out he’s selling you as a product, make sure to confront him and demand a physical copy of whatever crap he had you sign, Also, he doesn’t ask for ages when he does photos, so that being said, there is a chance that some of these photos are of underaged girls. Regardless, it’s shoddy, its horrible, and this guy needs to stop, or get his camera broken. (When I discovered my girlfriend on a pillow and a sticker set…I wasn’t too happy).
 

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. What the HELL is wrong with people?! WHY. Why. WHY? WHHHY. Why. Why. WHY. Jesus fucking Christ can I become a dogbird and leave this planet.

Signal boosting because im just grossed out by this whole story.

Sometimes I am disgusted by the depths some people will descend. Do not allow this horrible person to keep making money on objectifying unwilling people.

Bootleg merch is one thing. This is fucking revolting.

You innately own the copyright to your own image. While the specific form of Marvel’s Loki maybe held in copyright by Disney, your copyright to your likeness is not forfeit. If someone sells your image without permission, you can sue them in a court of law for copyright violations. Exercise your rights.

idlnmclean:

teratocybernetics:

dyslexicoedr:

missmonstermel:

dyemooch:

oohmanada:

Reposted from Pixie Belle
Just thought I’d give a heads up to everyone at the con this year:

If you got a photo with Image Solutions please read this:

So since I wanted to talk about this. Apparently if you have ever taken photos with a photographer in image solutions…well…you’re a body pillow now. I found this horrible thing in the dealers room. Apparently it’s legal because it’s a “promotional item”. Since when did promotions gets charged? All I can say is I wasn’t told these were going to be made when I SPECIFICALLY talked to him last year what he was going to do with the photos and I do not approve of it at all. He was selling these in the dealers room of the convention he took them at last year thinking the cosplayers would be okay with it. Obviously this man is beyond stupid. He had small pillows and larger ones too. When me, and two friends confronted him he had the AUDACITY to tell me that I was a popular seller, as if that would make me feel more comfortable about this. There were many others who had pillows made and every other person I talked to was disgusted with this.

Here’s the Article

Here’s his deviantart.

And here’s his “Professional” page.

Be careful of his unsavory business tactics, and if you find out he’s selling you as a product, make sure to confront him and demand a physical copy of whatever crap he had you sign, Also, he doesn’t ask for ages when he does photos, so that being said, there is a chance that some of these photos are of underaged girls. Regardless, it’s shoddy, its horrible, and this guy needs to stop, or get his camera broken. (When I discovered my girlfriend on a pillow and a sticker set…I wasn’t too happy).

 

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. What the HELL is wrong with people?! WHY. Why. WHY? WHHHY. Why. Why. WHY.

Jesus fucking Christ can I become a dogbird and leave this planet.

Signal boosting because im just grossed out by this whole story.

Sometimes I am disgusted by the depths some people will descend. Do not allow this horrible person to keep making money on objectifying unwilling people.

Bootleg merch is one thing. This is fucking revolting.

You innately own the copyright to your own image. While the specific form of Marvel’s Loki maybe held in copyright by Disney, your copyright to your likeness is not forfeit. If someone sells your image without permission, you can sue them in a court of law for copyright violations. Exercise your rights.

"As Snowden seems intuitively to understand, the “architecture of oppression” relies most fundamentally on our own cooperation and complacency. Withdrawing our consent, and doing so with integrity and openness, is probably the single most powerful blow any of us can ever strike for the cause of human freedom and the well-being of future generations."

Jeffrey A. Tucker (via timlebsack)

(via idlnmclean)