So I’m reading this rather quite excellent thread in a group here on Facebook and I start trying to figure out how to best share it. Figured it was a public group, so linking should be no problem. Turns out the link requires you to be logged in to Facebook to see it. Any login. Which I realized is the exact same level of security as most everything on Fetlife. For some reason that really tickles me.
— Comment on “One in Three Kinksters Reports a Consent Violation” (via maymay)
(via callingoutkinksters)
ICYMI: I’ve released a Fetlife Export Tool that doesn’t invite search engines to index your site: export.agevitam.net
— Sebastian (@AgeVitam) April 14, 2013
About this tool
This is not just a mirror of Maymay’s Fetlife Exporter. The tool on this site is based around the same open source script, but there are a few important differences. I made this tool with two goals in mind: first, I want to stop using Fetlife, which means I want my friends to stop using Fetlife. Second, I want to force Fetlife to end their policy of obfuscating their security problems. This tool will help accomplish the first goal by helping people get around one of the main obstacles to leaving Fetlife: the desire not to lose their data. And it will help accomplish the second goal by A: drawing attention to the security problems that Fetlife is trying to hide and B: attempting to address all of the concerns, no matter how ridiculous, that Fetlife raised in their FUD campaign against Maymay’s exporter.
![I unfriended John a few years ago when he tweeted a screenshot of his FetLife feed which had my & [REDACTED]’s & other people’s activity/fet names/profile pics. The image was publicly accessible on the web, & I promptly took steps to make sure I didn’t show up on his friend activity feed any more. I appreciate his site, but I don’t think he exercises the best discretion on his public web presence.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/74a96c8bfd9b09777fe5ac3d9ad06d9f/tumblr_mk96r6jDOH1qb1uhko1_500.jpg)
I unfriended John a few years ago when he tweeted a screenshot of his FetLife feed which had my & [REDACTED]’s & other people’s activity/fet names/profile pics. The image was publicly accessible on the web, & I promptly took steps to make sure I didn’t show up on his friend activity feed any more. I appreciate his site, but I don’t think he exercises the best discretion on his public web presence.
(Source: fetlife.com)
When I was contacting members who had seemed to have run the export tool, several of them had never even heard of the tool, and had no idea who maymay was. Remember - this was a week before this announcement from SusanWright, but we weren’t encouraged to publicly talk about it and threads on Fetlife Tech Support were being shut down.Yes, there were undoubtedly people who used the tool knowingly, but when 40% of the people I contacted had no idea what I was talking about when I first contacted them, I am very reticent about putting this down purely to user error of judgement.
At the end of the day, two people went out of their way to screw her over, potentially placing her at real risk, and used Fetlife to do it. Many of us find it unfair that the punishment for that is disproportionate compared to the punishment of others for relatively minor offenses that have no real consequences.
The core problem, I think, is that the Fetlife TOU and its enforcement are primarily about creating a harmonious environment conducive to revenue, NOT about protecting people. This is why if you hurt someone’s feelings, expose problems, or call someone out on their bullshit, punishment is more swift and more likely than if you actually do something to threaten someone’s privacy or physical well-being. And it’s why following the letter of the law counts more than following the spirit of the law. Following rules provides harmony, following principles provides fairness.
Looking at the KP today it seams all critical posts is removed while all posts angry at ppl being critical is left? I find it very disturbing if critique equals causing drama and if this is not just a coincidence with the mention of censoring the KP to avoid drama..
Yeah- it’s curious that “An Open Letter to John Baku” has disappeared, while”An Open Sandwich to John Baku” is still there.
Somehow, the posts calling him “our fearless leader” seemed a lot more amusing before he was acting openly like a dictator.
This is interesting.
Since I had some free time today, I thought I’d play around with this issue you highlighted about FetLife videos being available by a direct link. You’re right, of course, that’s an issue FetLife should deal with.
So I whipped up a new “FetLife Video Sharer” script that makes it easy to share links to FetLife videos that are posted in FetLife groups and such, and—although I couldn’t test this myself because I won’t ever pay for a FetLife subscription, obviously—adds a “Share this video!” link to each FetLife Video page under the “VID411” header on the right side. If it works, it should look like this:
If you click on that, you’ll get a pop-up offering you a few different ways to share the link. The same thing happens if someone posts a direct link to a video somewhere else on FetLife:
Since I coded this completely blind, I’d love help and detailed feedback testing it. Thanks!
Share your Fetlife videos with friends for free!
This is a friends only video I uploaded on Fetlife.
Not only does Fetlife normally require you to log in to view it (and to be a paid member), but you must be my friend.
Since I have no friends on Fetlife, it should therefore be theoretically unviewable by anybody on Fetlife but myself, correct? So none of those paying members are getting the benefit of this super awesome really special video, correct?
So far so good. I like that. I like that a lot. Especially since I can show this super awesome really special video to all my peeps (and hide it from the creeps!) without anybody having to purchase a goddamn thing (even if I delete it[!], because I hear these links stay up indeterminately even after the user deletes their content and/or profile).
Why would you want to be able to send content to your friends without them having to log into or pay Fetlife? Because lots of us have friends who may be kinky but don’t wanna have anything to do with that site. Or are broke. Or both.So for them, a video of the coolest faucet ever. Enjoy.
The issue is fairness. The issue is consistency. The issue is the fact that the people who we’re accountable to in relation to abiding by the Terms we agreed to are not bound to them, except at their whim and if they choose to do so.
That is the issue.
The horrible fact of the matter is that it took nothing less than the compromised physical safety of one of our own to bring this to light.
I love my privacy.
I used to be Almost Famous. I managed to keep my public self and my private self completely separate and I was actually one of the best known people in my age group in my geographic location.
I guarded my “real life” like it was made out of eggshells and ensured that my “working persona” didn’t infringe on my enjoyment of my life.
I was a radio personality. I had the highest rated show in my time slot IN THE COUNTRY at one point, and still none but my very closest peeps knew that I was the sexy, sexy voice bringing you all the hippest sounds before they happened.
I was just a radio voice.
But still it was important to me to keep life separate so that I could enjoy it.
I was so good at it, that I’d leave work and go to school where I’d join in on the water cooler discussions of the craziness that had happened on the show the night before.
My safety wasn’t an issue, or if it was, it never manifested itself overtly. It was just something I wanted. Something I demanded. Something that my employers and family and friends respected.
They allowed me to maintain my mild mannered alter ego for 11 long years, and for that I thank them profusely.
Unfortunately…very unfortunately…the center of this shit storm can’t say the same thing.
She wasn’t just “outed” as a kink.
She wasn’t just “outed” as a person.
She was outed as someone who was at the middle of a storm the likes of which most of us can’t imagine. She was outed specifically to put her in grave personal danger.
She’s in hiding. Literally.
And, strangely, that I get, too.
One of my best teenaged friends has been in hiding for almost 23 years from a murderer. She survived and that is her crime.
She changed her name. She changed her looks. She changed her *her*.
And she tries to live life after a night of hell that I wouldn’t wish on anyone…not even the people who are bitching and screaming about bringing on the drama yourself.
The woman at the centre of this controversy committed the crime of trust.
We’ve all done it.
Not one of us has the right to cast the first stone in the fight of “you brought it on yourself”. We’ve all committed a classic blunder.
But…and like a lot of the ones who are dragging her over the coals to be burnt in effigy…this is a BIG BUT:
## WHAT HAPPENED TO HOODIE ISN’T ACTUALLY THE ISSUE, YO!
What happened when she turned to get the support she deserved based on the agreement she made with this website is.
Did I speak slowly and clearly enough for you to understand that? Did all of you in the cheap seats get it?
This isn’t about what Hoodie did. Or didn’t do. Or maybe did. Or the mistakes she made in her personal life or your Monday Morning Quarterbacking from your esteemed high horse.
This is about what happened when she expected her real life identity to be protected HERE by the people who told her very clearly when she joined that incidents of outing were not to be tolerated.
And she’s not the only one.
She’s the latest.
And she’s the most extreme case.
And she’s struck a chord.
Because her identity was outed in relation to her relationship to a murderer from whom she’s hiding.
She’s free.
That means she’s allowed to live a life.
Just like me. Just like you.
Whatever sins she may or may not have committed…I can’t comment. All I know is that she’s free and she has the right to remain so.
And this website clearly stated that her right to anonymity should she
choose it is not to be trifled with.
On paper.
That is the issue.
On paper.
It’s not enforced. Except when convenient.
And the people “in charge” question the validity of documents that would be ironclad anywhere but here in the land of cupcakes and candycorns.
A friend and I were talking about the nonstop flow of fail coming from Fetlife when they said, “FailLife is the gift that keeps on giving that the reasonable person just wants to give back”.
Which made me think of fruitcake; which made me think of this movie (which I guess Siskel & Ebert hated):
This is my very favorite xmas movie ever. And for being a comedy made in 1994, I don’t think they did a half bad job with the trans character. She takes herself seriously and most everybody else does too, even though Steve Martin’s character’s discomfort was played for laughs, as you can see in the trailer. Of course, his character is the kind you want to make uncomfortable, so that helps.
A major theme of the movie is how his character is supposedly all about helping people but he’s actually very shut off and distanced from them. You get the idea he holds himself above ordinary mortals.
This movie is really sweet. It’s like an over the top romantic comedy version of Weekend At Bernies. At Christmas.
Share your Fetlife videos with friends for free!
This is a friends only video I uploaded on Fetlife.
Not only does Fetlife normally require you to log in to view it (and to be a paid member), but you must be my friend.
Since I have no friends on Fetlife, it should therefore be theoretically unviewable by anybody on Fetlife but myself, correct? So none of those paying members are getting the benefit of this super awesome really special video, correct?
So far so good. I like that. I like that a lot. Especially since I can show this super awesome really special video to all my peeps (and hide it from the creeps!) without anybody having to purchase a goddamn thing (even if I delete it[!], because I hear these links stay up indeterminately even after the user deletes their content and/or profile).
Where did I get this magical forever link? Basically, I just opened up the page’s source* and did a find search (CTRL+ F) for “videocdn”.
https://videocdn.fetlife.com/videos/04ecbd9c-3599-424f-92e1-48e0c3b79f79/encoded.mp4
https://videocdn.fetlife.com/videos/04ecbd9c-3599-424f-92e1-48e0c3b79f79/encoded_mobile.mp4
The one that comes up with “encoded.mp4” at the end is the regular video file for browsers/download. I think the one below it is for mobile viewing, like if you want to send it to your friend’s phone.
Let’s find out and see!
Does this open on mobile phones?
Yep, sure as fuck does. Tested it from Twitter.
To find a page’s source is a little bit different in each browser. You can look under View or Tools or even right click on the page for the mouse menu. It will be called something like Source, View Source or Page Info.
For more info on how to do this in Firefox, see my previous post about how to do this for your pictures. (On a side note, user IDs don’t appear to be part of the structure for video links like they are for photos; meaning that people who know the link structure won’t automatically be able to trace the video back to your profile.)
Why would you want to be able to send content to your friends without them having to log into or pay Fetlife? Because lots of us have friends who may be kinky but don’t wanna have anything to do with that site. Or are broke. Or both.
So for them, a video of the coolest faucet ever. Enjoy.
I’m curious. What do you think would happen if Fetlife banned a lifetime supporter? Would they get their money back? I bet they wouldn’t. In fact, I’d wager there’s a clause that says any violation of TOU revokes all rights to moneys paid. You know, those TOU that John Baku himself said were so vague that if enforced would take out pretty much the entire membership?
If we followed our TOU to the T and banned everyone who broke any of FetLife’s rules we would have 5 members… if that.
Just curious.
From what I’ve read, there’s at least a few people regretting those lifetime memberships right about now. Some have even openly expressed that regret.
I’m wondering, is there a refund process in general if people decide to withdraw their lifetime support? Or is it a non-refundable “donation”?
Just curious.
OMG, people! Stop telling everyone how to take money away from FetLife already!!! It’s bad enough we can’t take anything but checks right now, but shit - if folks start giving away their own videos for free we’ll go down like a drunk hooker.
I actually like this idea a lot. Now, I’ve never tried uploading a video to the site, but as far as I know, non paying members are allowed to upload videos but not view them. Hopefully they’re allowed to view their own uploads?
But finding out that videos have the same sort of unprotected permalinks as photos do is a terrific discovery, as now you can share your videos with your friends without them having to kick down money to view them.
As far as I’m concerned, that’s a feature, not a bug.
To see what I’m talking about, in Firefox, go to Tools, Page Info, then the Media tab. You’ll see a bunch of URLs in there. One of them will be your content, that you can then share with anybody, whether they have a FetLife account or not.
For pics, the URL will start with https://flpics0.a.ssl.fastly.net then some numbers, then your user ID, then a bunch more numbers.
Apparently there’s something similar going on with videos, though I can’t be assed to go in and try to upload one just to test this. But hey, if you’ve got videos, it might be worth looking into.
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