youremytype:

monogamous is not synonymous with

honest, loyal or faithful

polyamorous is not synonymous with 

lying, cheating or infidelity

so fuck off!

(via sexgenderbody)

every-inch-but-one:

ryan-on-bass:

every-inch-but-one:

applespider:

a rant: when monogamous people complain to me about cheating-

you may be offended!

I can’t respect monogamy. I just can’t. The glorification of jealousy, the unrealistic expectations, the weird possessiveness that comes with looming over your partner’s every move and social atmosphere. The awkward guilty angsting I hear when one person is fantasizing about someone outside their relationship. You don’t own someone. You shouldn’t be able to tell them they can’t see other people. Likewise, they shouldn’t hold those expectations to you, because they don’t own you. You are not property. I feel like there is implied and very not implied disrespect and distrust of both partners.

Likewise, I hate getting the diatribe from monogamous people going “Oh, I just don’t know HOW I could cope with all the jealousy of being non monogamous!” I like to compare this to leaving a big plate of food out on your coffee table and acting like you aren’t allowed to move it or put it in the sink or wash it or even touch it as it molds and decays. There’s no inner dialogue, no examination of potentially poisonous emotions, it’s just left there.

or the “I know you’re all poly and stuff, but this is how the rest of us do it” explanation.

And aside from that, the icky idea of marriage. Being bound to people in a legally constraining way. Adultery being illegal.

I feel like it’s a lie we’ve been fed every day, that the pinnacle of life is to get married and maek babby and that’s where it all ends. And it’s oh-so-important for the child you raise to be related to you. Because genetics are apparently everything. Human beings are so fucking selective when it comes to saying what’s natural and what isn’t. It’s just a convenient way to enforce arbitrary social rules of a culture sometimes.

Um. Not all monogamous people are like this. My partner and I just happened to fall into monogamy with each other, when previously, both of us were poly. We’re monogamous by choice, not by social coercion. I do think more people are poly than they know, but I think most of these problems come from the poor education people get around open honest communication, more than anything else. 

I was especially surprised that you started your response with such an over-used privilege denying phrase. “But I’m [blank] and I don’t do what you were just complaining about!”

Obviously, there are monogamous people who willingly choose that and still maintain honest and healthy communication.  I am even unintentionally monogamous right now, but I also share the sentiments of the OP.  I have a really hard time dealing with people fully indoctrinated in the mainstream heterosexual monogamous ideal.  Not even all of these people are even straight! Jealousy is definitely glorified in today’s culture. Any TV show or movie with some sort of romantic interest in it and jealousy is a huge factor. People, especially women, who don’t demonstrate overprotective jealousy of their monogamous partner are often portrayed as not caring or as sluts.  

It’s not that people just aren’t taught healthy relationship communication skills, it is that they are actively discouraged from doing healthy relationship communicating. Everyone is taught that they are supposed to be out there searching for The One and to treat every person they are dating like that and to be jealous of someone who might be attracted to them looks at them or if they look at someone that might be attractive and, in the cases that apply, that men and women have ways of thinking that are so different that any bridge between them is insurmountable.  That’s why men’s and women’s magazines spend so much time trying to explain this mythical “girl” or “guy” code.  What does he/she* really mean when he/she does xyz.  It’s in every single issue.  Meanwhile, the same magazines are telling you to do some bizarre thing that is totally creepy but it will prove that he/she really loves you! TV shows and movies just replicate this behavior.

When I talk about my poly experiences to my mono friends, I am often treated like some bizarre heartless freak meanwhile I don’t understand their reluctance for clear, direct communication with their partner and positive association with jealousy.  Then I watch TV or look at the magazine headlines and realize it’s because that is what is expected.

So bravo to you for moving beyond that, but seriously, that is a VERY small minority.

*Using binaristic language to reflect the language of what I’m talking about

Yeah, that was a pretty shitty opening wasn’t it. Sorry for that. I understand what you’re saying. I think I see a lot more hope for moving past this bullshit in a lot of the younger folks that I know. Also I guess I just don’t hang around with enough monog people. Most of my friends are poly or open. Maybe it’s a queer thing, but we used to take the piss out of monog people all the time. 

(Source: diddlebot)

nixvisceral:

treesong:

hit-the-ground-upright:

viviixciv:

sylvianguyen:

blehkatie:

There is a chemical in a girls’ brain is released only two different times in her life, when she has sex, and when she breast feeds her baby. This chemical emotionally connects her to another person for the rest of her life. Us guys? We only release this chemical when we bond with our children. So if you think sex is a game and go around fucking as many girls as you want, remember that you can mentally mess this girl up for the rest of her life. If you’re still friends afterwards then whatever, but she will always feel some sort of feeling for you, just because of the chemical.

It’s called Oxytocin, it’s actually released when a woman gives birth as well. But this is so true… sex is more than just a game, and this is a clear reason that explains why humans were only created to have sex with just one person. Doing it with multiple people will have a very strong negative effect on your relationship with the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. I wish more kids knew about this… not that this should be your only motive not to have sex before marriage, but it is one of the most important.

Everyone should know this.

read this you fucktards.

Don’t we release some kind of chemical in our bodies when we eat something we like too? That doesn’t mean I’m only going to eat one type of food for the rest of my life…

And its not only released two times. It can be released when you get a swedish massage. That doesn’t mean I’m going to want to stay with the same swedish massager for fucking ever.

This post is stupid.

UHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMM no.

Oxytocin is indeed known as the bonding chemical because it is released during sex. However, it’s also released during any kind of intimate physical contact (such as cuddling), and most importantly no significant difference between sexes has been found when it comes to quantity of oxytocin processed. Men absolutely release oxytocin as well during those activities (source). This certainly doesn’t mean that you’re BONDED to the person you experience it with for the rest of your life, although if you spend a lot of time around that person and they’re consistently upping your oxy levels, yeah, you’re going to feel a bit addicted to them because that’s how brain chemicals work. However, this doesn’t mean we were “meant to be” stuck with one person who we become bonded to for the rest of our lives—welcome to 2012.

Let’s just go ahead and say your entire sexist, slut-shaming argument is invalid, shall we?

^^^ THAT. YES.

Lol “humans were created to only have sex with one person” Been there, DONE with that.

(Source: moonbeamglowspace)