I could be completely wrong about this, and I didn’t mention it to anyone at the clinic, but I suspect what may have pushed my IUD down is the vigorous muscle contractions I make when I’m masturbating with my Magic Wand and trying to squirt.
I do a LOT of pushing, so much so that you can kind of see it from the outside. And when I come, I’ve been known to send dicks and dildos flying with the force of my vulvanic expulsions.
But my actual retained knowledge of anatomy is shit so who knows.
So yes, this IUD is pretty goddamn wonderful. My cycle is acting exactly the way it did before as far as mood and other symptoms but no more actual bleeding! Huzzah!
Plus, best part? That super horny couple of days right smack in the middle of my period where sex just sounds like an amazing idea and feels even better? Still there, but NO BLOOD.
Okay, I realize this hilariously late for Asexuality Awareness Week (which was last week), but due to unforeseen stressors, it didn’t really get done in time.
Anyway! I’ve wanted to do something like this for a while, and I’m proud of myself of actually getting a six page comic done within a week. (Not that it’s really anything super fancy, but it’s better than nothing lol) I do apologize for the massive ugly text wall that is page four but I had a hard time figuring out how to convey it visually while being kind of pressed for time.
oh and the occasional copy/paste, I’m sorry for that too
Enjoy! Click on the separate pictures if the text is hard to read.
Relevant to my last reblog!
Asexuality for beginners.
Sexuality is hard. And confusing. Clearly, I’m heteroromantic. But my sexuality? I have no idea. Somewhere between asexual and bisexual? I’m not really attracted to anybody but I can have fun with people with all sorts of bodies. Sort of. I’m basically a selfish bottom. I don’t really care who gets me off, as long as I trust them not to fuck me over in some way afterwards. Kind of like those “straight” guys who don’t care who sucks their dick.
“Because we don’t speak about sex, there is no socially acceptable language surrounding it. So the language of porn has jumped in to fill that space, and that’s an issue, because in a male-dominated industry the language of porn is all too often male-generated. The person who coined the term “finger blasting” didn’t have a vagina. The person who coined the term, “getting your ass railed” never got their ass railed. Pounding, hammering, banging… And language matters, because when the only language you have available is abusive and one-directional, in terms of having things done to you, it creates a very weird view of how sex works.”
– Porn Is Dead, Long Live Sex | VICE United States
Life is too short for shitty sex and bad relationships.
So go find someone who fucks you right and treats you how you deserve to be treated.
Have faith. It can happen. It finally did for me. And now I can’t get the chorus of this song outta my head.
The whole documentary (on the science of sex appeal) is on Netflix and it’s pretty good, though teeth-grindingly heterocentric. This segment was the one that floored me, though.
We talked about it later and decided that while we’re both sort of curious, neither one of us wants to know what our “number” is.
(via Science of Sex Appeal : Videos : Discovery Channel)
"German researchers say the average intercourse lasts 2 minutes, 50 seconds"
and suddenly, I become filled with pity for heterosexual women
“7. Sex Is Fun “I wish they taught me that sex didn’t have to be so serious like it is in the movies. It took me many years to realize that the best kind of sex for me is messy, loud and often not very conventionally pretty. We can still be hot as hell with one false eyelash stuck to our cheek, socks still on and laughing our ass off because we just fell off the bed having an orgasm. I wish they taught me that sex was supposed to be fun.” - Sunny Megatron”
– He Said, She Said: 10 Things We Wish Sex Ed Taught Us | Melissa White
“One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)
Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.
Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.
Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.
Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)
Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.
Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.
Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.
Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.
Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via jesusfuckmechrist)
I am reblogging this specifically for the hilarity that is step 8.
YES omg just yes